I Lost My First Love

A best friend; someone is trustworthy, someone you can tell deep secrets, someone who will always stick with you no matter what you have said or done. Someone who can give you the best hugs in this world! His/her shoulder to cry on, because you know that he truly care about you. And I am no different; I too had a best friend…….My First Love!!!

                      He always encouraged me to reach my full potential. He always told me to try harder and never give up. He listened to me very patiently. I could talk to him about almost anything including my boyfriend. It’s only because of him, now I can spend my life happily with my dream man.

                      He was tall, handsome and intelligent. I always wanted see him wearing a suit. I wished to gift him a suit in my marriage, but that didn't happen because of his illness. So I decided to gift him on next special occasion. But that day never come in my life.

                      Never in my worst mare, I thought I could have seen him in this way. This was first time in my life, I was standing in ICU.My best friend was in front of me and his body revealed what he had gone through the accident. He was covered with white bed sheet and his face had so much injuries. His right chest had a fracture. A feeding pipe ran down his nose and multiple injection tubes piercing different parts of his body. He was surrounded with by a ventilator, heart beat monitor and a oxygen cylinders. I was restless. I couldn't able to stand there and can’t able to control myself and started crying seeing him. One can’t imagine how much pain he was bearing all alone. He was totally unconscious.

                       Next three days passed in prayers, hope and anxiety. On 5^th day he opened his eyes and stared at me. I heard those words through his eyes: “I am so happy to see u….I am gonna all right…nothing will happen to me”. Apollo hospital, Bhubaneswar doctor tried his best to make him well. But his health is getting worse day by day. He again fell unconscious. The anxiety and fear were back in me. Time stood still. Seconds, minutes and hours passed like days. With each passing day, his health is going down. Constantly being on ventilator, his lungs were filled with water and blood. There was internal bleeding also for which he had to take 2-3 units blood daily. After ten days on loosing patience, I asked doctor to take second opinion. The mental burden was too much. There was no good news, only bad news. I was hopeless, helpless and frustrated. Then doctor told to take 2^nd opinion.

                    Moving a serious patient from an ICU was the toughest part. But there was no other option. I had made up my mind. One cannot imagine shifting a patient from one hospital to another there are lot of paper works and that is most important for them more than a serious patient’s life. Every single moment was precious. It was the first time I had been in an ambulance. Standing on the road, watching ambulance is very easy. But seating inside an ambulance was enough to scare you. It was making more scaring with the sound of siren. Within half an hour, he was immediately admitted to ICU, Kalinga hospital.

                    Almost two days had gone. The doctor told he is trying his best. I was waiting to hear some good news. But something strange happened that night. Something which I couldn't believe at first. While I was sleeping, I feel he was sitting beside me. He was smiling and he put his hand on my cheek. And that moment I was speechless. He was looking as usual handsome as earlier.

He asked me”How are you my dear?” But I was shocked and unable to speak anything.

He again said” I came here for you…I was and I will always there for you. I can never away from you”.

I was so happy and I hugged him tightly. After few minutes, he said “promise me you will take care of yourself always”. I could see his love for me through his eyes.

He again said “promise me to take care of yourself and your brother….take care of your mother always…you will never break your promise to me”.

I couldn't understand and asked “why, what happened…why are you saying like this?”

He closed his eyes and said” Let me go peacefully….I will be there with you always”. For few seconds I couldn't able to know what happened in the darkness. Suddenly, my cell started ringing.

It was 6 am morning. Mom was calling. I picked up the phone and said “Hello?”But I didn't get any response from her, but I could hear her breath.

She only said with heavily voice” Dad?” Immediately I rushed to the hospital. In ICU, I was shocked and froze. I didn't remember and recall anything else. I only heard the voice of the doctor telling to my brother” he took his last breath early hours of the dawn. After the formalities we will hand over you the body”.

I was not able to cry. I lost my control and screamed at the doctor “God damn, it’s not body. He is my father”.

                   Yes he is my father, my best friend, my first love of life whom I want to gift a suit to wear. Because of his illness he didn't able to wear a suit, not even able to enjoy my marriage. I thought I will make everything so that he will have full fun at my brother’s marriage. But fate has something else. I will never ever see him again as a person in my life, because he is no more. I cannot tell you how much it hurts to live without the person who means a lot to you more than anything in this world.